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<blockquote data-quote="i_wanna_fly" data-source="post: 339108" data-attributes="member: 1553"><p>Dear diary,</p><p>F**k it. Like seriously, f**k it. I'm so sick and tired and angry... Effing angry at me and him and my parents and life and the effing universe and just... Aaarghhh!!! </p><p>I hate feelings so effing much and I was doing alright being a sneaky vindictive, c...-teasing b...h until he effing decided to effing appear in my life and f***ing flip it around. </p><p>f***ing a-hole. </p><p>Look the f**k at him. He's clearly a specimen I ain't used to and he said I'm full of f***ing bulls**t because he sees right through my act and he is right and i really don't wanna admit it but he does. And i can't f***ing sleep and study and do s**t that I'm supposed to do and I feel frustrated because I did something I said I would not. It ain't bad but i said i was gonna stay away from s**t like that for the rest of my life and I clearly didn't. But I look at him and I can't think at all and all I wanna do is kill him and lay in his arms AND I NEVER F***ING WANTED THAT S**T. </p><p>God, I screwed up... </p><p>I don't wanna admit it, but he was right and i'm afraid I am falling in love with him. </p><p>There, I said it out loud (not really, but this is a kinda public space... U get what i mean, right?) </p><p>And I miss him at night. </p><p>And i f**king love it when he thinks I'm sleeping and he kisses my nape or my forehead and snuggles closer to me or hugs me tighter. </p><p>It wasn't supposed to be like this! </p><p>We were supposed to be friends who make out and occasionally go get coffee or walk along the bank of the river and not have those all-night kinds of conversations that don't end until one of us falls asleep. </p><p>S**t, all I wanted was to have fun and someone to relieve all the stress with. </p><p>I hate that I'm doing this...</p><p>I really f***ing miss u, D. I really do. </p><p>We've got some past and our own deal of bad cards and pain. But I really hate you now for forcing my stupid shattered heart to feel again. </p><p>F**k you. </p><p>F**k you so f***ing much. </p><p>There, I said it all. </p><p>I don't wanna love ya, but i kinda miss ya, and i don't like to text you and days go by and I get angry at you for not texting me, but I kinda always wanna be with you and that's so pathetic, and I know you are going to just hurt me, and I can't let that happen, so I'm just gonna continue treating you cold until you've had enough. </p><p>S**t. This is so f***ed up. </p><p>I f***ing fell for you a**hole. </p><p>So f**k you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="i_wanna_fly, post: 339108, member: 1553"] Dear diary, F**k it. Like seriously, f**k it. I'm so sick and tired and angry... Effing angry at me and him and my parents and life and the effing universe and just... Aaarghhh!!! I hate feelings so effing much and I was doing alright being a sneaky vindictive, c...-teasing b...h until he effing decided to effing appear in my life and f***ing flip it around. f***ing a-hole. Look the f**k at him. He's clearly a specimen I ain't used to and he said I'm full of f***ing bulls**t because he sees right through my act and he is right and i really don't wanna admit it but he does. And i can't f***ing sleep and study and do s**t that I'm supposed to do and I feel frustrated because I did something I said I would not. It ain't bad but i said i was gonna stay away from s**t like that for the rest of my life and I clearly didn't. But I look at him and I can't think at all and all I wanna do is kill him and lay in his arms AND I NEVER F***ING WANTED THAT S**T. God, I screwed up... I don't wanna admit it, but he was right and i'm afraid I am falling in love with him. There, I said it out loud (not really, but this is a kinda public space... U get what i mean, right?) And I miss him at night. And i f**king love it when he thinks I'm sleeping and he kisses my nape or my forehead and snuggles closer to me or hugs me tighter. It wasn't supposed to be like this! We were supposed to be friends who make out and occasionally go get coffee or walk along the bank of the river and not have those all-night kinds of conversations that don't end until one of us falls asleep. S**t, all I wanted was to have fun and someone to relieve all the stress with. I hate that I'm doing this... I really f***ing miss u, D. I really do. We've got some past and our own deal of bad cards and pain. But I really hate you now for forcing my stupid shattered heart to feel again. F**k you. F**k you so f***ing much. There, I said it all. I don't wanna love ya, but i kinda miss ya, and i don't like to text you and days go by and I get angry at you for not texting me, but I kinda always wanna be with you and that's so pathetic, and I know you are going to just hurt me, and I can't let that happen, so I'm just gonna continue treating you cold until you've had enough. S**t. This is so f***ed up. I f***ing fell for you a**hole. So f**k you. [/QUOTE]
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